Jesse's poetry

First topic message reminder :

Poem about poetry

As I begin to read the poem, I lose myself in the hedges of emotion,
Like a wild protest, causing a commotion,
In my mind, the thoughts are provoked,
They’ve stopped circulating; my brain has been choked,
So I step back, take a new perspective,
Now the thoughts are collective, they can make sense,
I’ve grasped the concept, and now I know it’s not just rambling nonsense.

I'm new to writing poems, so go easy

EDIT: I know this is really short, I might expand on it later

Dan Poria

Paranoia clouds my every thought, my brain’s been left out to rot,
While hypocrites surround me, I’ve been cornered by the debris
Of my securities, my memories, 
Of what I could’ve been

The haunted walls creep closer, leaving me with no closure,
I've been trapped by my own mind, no exit that I can find,
Is this the start or the end? Cuz I don't remember what I've said,
Into destruction I've been led,

No longer am I numb, no more playing dumb,
I've entered a never-ending race, I've seen fear's face,
No chance I can win, now I can feel the pain within,
I'm letting the disappointment sink in,

So I'll stay in silence, containing my inner violence,
Waiting for the riot, so that I can fight it,
The feeling of falling down a bottomless pit, while my thoughts are omit,
The fire's been lit.

~
Finished, or one more stanza?

wow this one is great Jesse!

Thanks Kate

Splasher wrote:Dan Poria


No longer am I numb, no more playing dumb,
I've entered a never-ending race, I've seen fear's face,
No chance I can win, now I can feel the pain within,
I'm letting the disappointment sink in,

That was amazing
I really loved this part ^

Thanks Sonia, I liked that part too

New poem I did in about 5 minutes, I'm tire so tell me if you see any grammar, spelling or other problems.


Tick Tock ~

Tick tock, the sound of a clock,
Beating out of time, in the centre of my mind,
Telling me to hurry up, go on and join the club,
The club of not knowing, what you're really showing, 
Of not actually meaning, what you're really feeling.

While it's members raise their hands, only mine withstands,
Seems like I've been here for as long as I can remember, the only member,
Waiting for people that never come, how could anyone be so dumb?
I've been deceived, by my false sense of security,
But I won't drop out and leave it behind me, for reasons only I can see.

And yet, still,
Tick tock, goes that clock,
Starting to re-align, in the centre of my mind,
Telling me to slow down, let my feet touch the ground,
Where I can finally kick back. Relax.

I liked that a lot Jesse, especially the second stanza

¡sonia! wrote:I liked that a lot Jesse, especially the second stanza

Thanks Sonia

Need help with this one. Any suggestions?

Lifestyles ~

Why do we ignore the poor?
The men and women who never ask for more.
Why do we glamorize the famous?
Is being in a magazine become something to be celebrated?

So we'll give it all to those who have everything, 
Instead of giving something to the ones with nothing,
We'll tread on the feet of the working class heroes,
Look at fame's pay cheque and tell me that's not too many zeroes.

Why have we traded our passion for fashion?
Why do we look to the TV for a role model, people who can do nothing but dawdle?
Why are we all becoming the same, nearing endgame?
The answer is fame.

When the builders of the ground you walk on give up, we still won't say "enough",
Until we all fall down, in our own indulgence we will drown,
Until we see what we've done, a fate that can't be outrun,
You'll see, one day.

These two are extremely similar. Which one is better?


Listen to Me ~

If I tell you to run, walk,
If I tell you to be silent, talk,
If I tell you to continue, stop,
If I tell you to stand, drop.

If you do what I want, you'll stuff up,
If you do what I want, you'll have had enough,
If you do what I want, you'll be seeing red,
If you do what I want, you'll be in over your head.

Don't listen to me, when have I been right?
Don't listen to me, everything ends in a fight,
Don't listen to me, you never have anyway,
Don't listen to me, I have nothing more to say.

Talk to Me ~

If you tell me to leave, I'll stay,
If you tell me to be still, I'll sway,
If you tell me to read, I'll write,
If you tell me to forget, I just might.

If I do what you want, I'll never forget,
If I do what you want, I'll have too many regrets,
If I do what you want, I won't forgive myself,
If I do what you want, I'll become another toy on the shelf.

Don't talk to me, I hate what you say,
Don't talk to me, you're leading me to dismay,
Don't talk to me, you're voice is sickening,
Don't talk to me, I'm not listening.

Great work Jesse
I love your poems
And I will start commenting in your thread more often

¡sonia! wrote:Great work Jesse
I love your poems
And I will start commenting in your thread more often

Thank you Sonia!

awesome Jesse

Thanks Leo!

Here's a poem Sonia and I collabed on

Before the Storm
~

Can you calm my restless heart,
Before my soul is torn apart?
This nightmare never ends
Because everyone just pretends
To be something they're not,
Dreading the attention they've brought,

Can you help me feel,
Before I can't tell what's real?
As the  inferno blazes on,
Will this duckling ever become a swan?
Because it feels so shit,
Knowing you're no-one's "it".

Can you be my obstruction,
Before I lead myself to self-destruction?
The storm continues to wreck havoc,
The damage left is savage,
And still you don't see,
You're the one who can save me.

~
Is it long enough?

wow it's awesome you guys

This is poorly written, rushed and vague. Enjoy

Take a Look Around ~

You and me, a concept I can't grasp,
No matter how hard we try, we won't last,
But I'll continue to fake it,
Hoping one day we can make it.

I can't believe that this is happening,
Pinch me, because this can't be reality,
It all feels like a dream, but we're still not right,
My heart is becoming darker than the sky's night.

Now they've jumped to the conclusion,
Leaving me in my own confusion,
Take a look around, can't you see?
Everyone's so sure. Except for me.

I like that one
It doesn't seem poorly written at all

it is very good and thoughtful

This one's a bit of a mess as I edited a lot of bits that I felt were too personal to post.

Blunt ~

You've tried everything you can to give me the hint,
If it's my heart you're looking for, it's out of print,
But you can still get a second hand copy that's been through years of torment,
I'm sorry if this is hurting you, it was never my intent.

How nice of you, to think of me,
Although I would've preferred  to have been left free,
And now I think of the things I should've said,
Though it's too late, this cause is about as good as dead.

But I can still feel it's pulse, the bluntest of beats,
Take a few weeks to watch the cycle as it repeats,
See maybe something is here, an underlying truth,
Hidden by a mountain of lies, all built up in our youth.

Conquer the mountain, see the beauty that lies above,
I realize there's absolutely nothing I would get rid of,
I doesn't even matter that we're socially awkward,
But what's concerning is how  will we take a step forward?

So place your hand on my wrist, and tell me there's still a pulse,
The bluntest of beats still staggering, with no repulse,
Keep it there, until I can again finally feel,
It's taken me all this, but now I realize that this is real.

I like your rhymes :p

I love it :')

what's the story behind this?

GreenDayBass wrote:I like your rhymes :p

Thanks Wait, Adam You posted in my thread :')

¡sonia! wrote:I love it :')

Survivor of Violence wrote:what's the story behind this?

I'll PM you later

okay

This one's really personal and if I wasn't so tired I wouldn't be posting it

You Know I Can't ~

Lately, I've been living on the edge,
Rarely, do I step away from the ledge,
When I'm looking down at the ants below,
The only thing I'm sure of, that I know,
Is you're infatuation with him will be the end, 
To everything I am, to the point I can't mend.

It feels so wrong, knowing you'll end with him,
Yet saying we're good together is going out on a limb,
But I need this, even if it won't last,
I'm living in the shadow he's cast,
"Maybe I'm just paranoid" I tell myself,
But it's becoming obvious I've been out on the shelf,
Or maybe I am just paranoid, and everything's fine,
But I'm still not sure, someone give me a sign.

I can tell you want me to be a supplant,
But more than anyone, you know I can't,
I can't just be the replacement while you wait for him,
I want to see the light, but it's just too dim,
Because I can tell that this is ending, slow and painful,
I should've known being with you was extremely baneful.

awww really nice one Jess

Spoiler:

Amazing :')

Quick 5 minute, 1 stanza poem:


Pretending ~

Would you believe that I've never made it, only faked it?
Because it's getting on my nerve, that there's nothing I deserve,
But they still give me recognition, as if I've ever done something right,
Maybe one day, they'll realize the charade I've put on and see the light,
Yet that day never comes, as I tread along like I'm actually something,
But deep down I know, I'll actually amount to nothing.

~
Should I continue with it?

it's great! leave it the way it is though.

I like it, seems fine the way it is