Sonia's poems

First topic message reminder :

My poems :

Ruins Of Roses:

Here I stand, In the middle
Of the ruins of roses
Everything beautiful,
Is dead and gone
Every memory, faded
Life and death and separated 
By a very fine line
The same line 
That divides me
Somewhere in my mind
If you aren't here 
I'm a ghost, I walk all alone.
No one will see,The tears I cry.
They are hidden 
By the pain in my eyes
All i posses,Is one last breath
As I stand, In the ruins of roses.

Has the darkness stolen the light?
Are you lost and alone in this fight?
Have you given up your faith
For something that isn't fake?
Have you lied, in your heart
Has it been torn apart?
Have you sinned in a saviours name?
Have you been burnt by hells flame?
Do you smile to reduce
All the pain that's been induced
Have your friends disowned you
Even the love that claimed to be true
Are the ones you love the cause 
Of the magnification of your flaws
Is this social disconnection 
Your twisted minds only passion?
Do you wish they'd fall like files
Right in front of your eyes
Are you waiting for the truth?
You'll be waiting your whole life through 

Has your faith been replaced 
By your souls empty space
Are you too afraid to dream
And to hear yourself scream
Have you felt yourself die
Hiding behind every lie
You ever told to save your soul
But now there's nothing to hold
You've given up giving in
But you're a victim of everything 
You're a symbol of suffering
That's the way you prefer living 
Have you locked every door
In fear of what you know
The secrets that you keep
In the book of disbelief
You've lost the ones you love
And say there's nothing left
Nothing left but memories 
Of your Fake Reality
Have you ever wanted to die
Just so you could feel alive
The beautiful feeling of isolation 
That results in frustration 
Have you been misunderstood 
Are you being someone else
Why cant anyone see
That every word is an S.O.S.

I've learnt what it's like
To feel empty on the inside
To feel like you've died
And no one even cried
Because that's what you mean
To everyone, you're Nothing.
I'm not strong enough
To go on anymore
And live this life
In a place I don't know
To live like I don't care
And shut every door
To isolate myself
I'm not strong enough anymore
I don't want to die
But I have no motivation to live
I have no one to love
And no love to give
This life has lost it's meaning
And that means everything to me

Let the darkness take me away
To a place I'll start feeling safe
Let the pain lead my way
To a better, brighter day
Let the misery teach me
What I could not see.
Let me understand that this
Is how I'm supposed to be
And if I expected better
I'd have to be a liar.
I'll smile at my enemy 
And make them think I'm friendly
I'll sing along to a song
That recites my reality.
I'll scream in the middle of the night
To bring my dreams to life
Because every time I close my eyes
My nightmares come to life
I began to understand why
I have to live this lie
No one can see what's inside 
My twisted, little mind
Let the darkness bring me to life. 

Wow... it's so dark... and sad...


...and amazing!

Thanks Kate

Broken:

Do you dream in vain 
Just to mask the pain
Just to lie to survive
Has this life drifted away
To a place beyond your reach
To the heart of disbelief
You've given it all
But it's never enough
You try and hide it all
But they know too much
Everyone's here to disown you
To give you something
To look forward to
And just when you place
All your broken faith
In the hands of another
They seem to run away
You've broken your heart
And there's no better place to start
Than the finish line of your mind
You're broken again.

Maybe this is how you're meant to be
Shallow, lonely and with no reality.
With no one to guide you 
No heart to love you, no one to care
This, my dear, is your truth.
You give your heart to someone 
Who promises to love you
Promises made with fingers crossed
And now, it's your love that's lost.
You've given up your identity
Just to remain in someone's memory
But they seem to have amnesia
when you need someone to turn to.
They forget to forgive you
For the things you simply can't do.
You live your life in accordance to
All the expectations placed on you.
You don't know who you are
And your heart is too far for you to find
And you have no real mind.
You cut yourself just to know
That your blood isn't blue 
And to remind yourself 
Dreams don't come true.

:')

I've just read a lot of the poems I've missed from my absence in this thread, beautiful.

Aw, thanks

Mirrors:

I can see the reflection of your emotions 
In my heart, where love's lost motivation 
Without you I have to motivation 
And my life has no specific reason.
You try to be the best for someone else
When you can't be improved in my eyes
You seek the approval of another soul
But you're already perfect in mine.
You seem blind to my search 
For your affection, your love
The love you give to a preoccupied heart
Who  wouldn't learn to appreciate your beauty
Your twisted, misinterpreted reality
Which only makes you more perfect for me.
While your attention is placed on somebody 
You constantly fail to see,
How much more you mean to me.    

Do you wake up to distress
To fears of the long years,
To the reality you rather lose,
To the life you wouldn't choose.
Do you close your eyes
To lifeless, empty, dreams,
To emotionally terrifying screams,
To the paranoia in your head.
Can you ever rest in your bed.
Can you ever be completely free
From the expectations of reality 
From the eyes of strangers 
From the heart of scavengers.
Have you slipped into a Fake Reality.
One that makes you feel accepted,
Like you've never been before,
One that makes you feel 
Like you're something more
Than just the reflection you see
In cracked mirrors labeled "eternity".
And for once you're alive 
A rebel against the morning light.

I can't keep you safe from your mistakes 
But I can hold you until the demons go away,
I can't restore everything you've lost
But I can reassure you that sadness won't stay,
I can't help you run away from the lies 
But I can show you the sinners in disguise.
I want to stay with you, when you breakdown 
When your dreams fall to the ground.
I want to be the one you turn to 
When all your dreams don't come true.
I'll be right here, everyday, to help you,
To give you something to look forward to.
I'll put light into your hopeless eyes,
Even if it means I have to close mine,
When you've lost everything again,
I won't shy away from being your only friend.
We can forget about the twisted world, 
And run away, hand in hand.
You can make my only dream come true,
The dream of meaning everything to you.

How much longer do you expect me to live
With your opinion as the final decision 
You're too good for anything I can give
I don't hate you, but you make me want to 
You make me regret thinking you were best
And I'd never be good enough for you
And that my dreams wouldn't ever come true
I did the very best in my capacity to please you 
But thats merely average to you  
I did what I thought I couldn't, to amaze you
But all that did was  annoy you.
You don't seem to understand 
How you crush me with your criticism 
And how you hurt me with you dissatisfaction 
How you find it easy to show me
What I regularly pretend not to see.
Yes, I'm flawed, far from perfect, really
 I live a life of insanity and misery
I try to make you love me, understand me 
But all you want is perfection from me
I see that I'll never be good enough for you
Now it's time your dreams don't come true

I don't want to live anymore
I feel like I'm living on life support 
And no one would care
If I was alive or dead 
If I was sane or lost my head 
I'd be easily replaced 
There'd be someone better
Immediately taking my place 
Someone who's amazing
Someone you'd find worth loving 
Someone who'd be better at everything 
Unlike me, they wouldn't be stupid 
They wouldn't fall for the lies 
They'd hold on to faith and reality.
Maybe I'm that person,
Chances are, I used to be 
But now I'm a fading memory 
Like that of you and me
Every time I dream of life 
Those dreams soon die
And once again, here I am
With over a million reasons to cry.  

Have you lead a life of such misery
That suddenly, it feels like safety 
You feel it's best you don't know
How far you could possibly go
If you tried hard enough 
But you think you aren't good enough.
That's the impression you've been given
by everyone that ever looked your way
That's the way you've felt
Every time you opened your eyes to a new day.
All you can't be is all you are
All your defeat is all you were
All your  misery is your shelter
From the battle you fight with the mirror
How much longer can you stand 
The angry glares from the person staring at you
This is time you changed yourself
Before the suffering takes over you.

I used to be so sure of everything I knew
Now I live in confusion, wondering what's true.
I used to have my feet, firmly on the ground
Now you make me fall and my head spins around.
I can't understand anything anymore
And I'm looking for a safe place to withdraw
From the impatient, unpleased glares of others
And their well hidden expectations.
I've turned so cynical, so unpredictable 
But when you're around, my guard is down
I so easily fall for every word
For every smile, for every tear
And this is my growing fear.
I don't want to become a slave to everything you say
I don't want you to be the light on the darkest day
I want to stand up for myself
And reject your false helping hand.
I know what you want, I see through the disguise
I see through the attempts you mesmerise me with your eyes.
All the games you always win
I'll make sure you can't ever play again.
I see the trauma you hold within.
And I don't want to hold your hand.

Have all the stars fallen from the sky
The light of reality hurts your eyes,
When it falls down on to you
Telling you what isn't true.
Telling you that the things you loved
Are just fragments of your imagination,
And that the things you based your life on
Are just myths and are all gone.
Have you lost the heart you held near
All the people who were so dear
Have they all suddenly disappeared?
Or was it something you expected
Something you always feared
That when you tried to put yourself first
Your decision would be met with tears.
When you decided your life was in your hands
Everyone seemed to pretend 
That there was never any good in you
Unless a person can simply use you.
Everyone wants you when they need you
But when you need someone to hold onto
The decide your love isn't true.

I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired
Of everything and everyone.
Is anything really worth it?
Proportional to the pain it inflicts? 
In order to get where you wanted 
You're willing to have your soul haunted 
Just to have another lost home
You won't have the strength to enter.
Just to have a horizon 
That feels like a temporally shelter.
Just to have a sense of security 
That hides you from the misery.
But everything you have right now
Isn't even your own heart.
You've given up all you ever had
For things you can never own.
You've thrown away all you've know
In exchange for what you can't know.
You're starting to act like a dog
Tempted by a rubber bone.
One you can't have, one you can't own.
But I'm not you, I rather be alone. 

Everyday is a repetition
Of a previous lack of motivation
Of a memory, dead and gone
Of an old forgotten song.
How much longer must we live
In our poorly constructed fantasies.
In our basket of regrets
In our cradles of  futility.
Do I stand a chance at all
Against this raging storm
Against everything wrong
Against this painful reality 
Do I even want to try
To win this endless fight
To make everything right
To go to sleep at night 

I've found myself once again
On my knees, crawling back
To where it all begun
From where I chose to run.
I've given up this fight before
And now I'm back for more
Putting the mistakes behind me
I'm ready to finally break free.
Free from the bonds placed on me
Free from the misery you see.
I've decided to make this life mine
And live a life of liberty.
I don't mind your criticism
Your well thought out lies
Your lovely fake smiles
And your artificial cries.
This is my only chance to be
Something more than what you see
And I'm not going to waste it
Attempting to make you happy
From now on, I live for me.

Teach me to justify 
This life of pure misery 
Teach me to survive 
With a lack of dignity.
This life wasn't meant for me
And it seems to hate me
Is it a fault of mine?
Or just my destiny.
Isn't it time, my reality was nice
Compared to how it's been,
For so long I've been lost
The odd one out, a ghost.
But now it's time for me
To come lose, break free
To run away from this
Everything that hurts me
To become what I want to be.
To become more than what
All my life, I though I'd be
I was never good enough
Then again, I never tried to be.

The sun doesn't rise anymore
It doesn't set either
It's static up there
And it makes me sadder 
Than I've ever been before
Sadder than I've ever known.
It's all because you aren't here
And you're everything to me, dear.
You're the sun in the sky
You're the starts at night 
You're the light when nothing's right.
I never though I'd feel this way,
But you're the reason my life has reason 
You give me something to believe in.
It's something I can't see, 
Something I can't touch, but I feel
In my heart when nothing's real.
This feeling's all I've got,
It's the only thing that's not
A fragment of my imagination,
Or maybe it is. I doesn't matter
Has long as you're here,
To make the wounds better. 

You've tried so hard to please the world
But it means nothing at all
When you realise that you're unhappy
And even love isn't real.
Where are the things you lived for
And the people you loved?
Where are the secrets you preserved 
And the memories you held near?
Did the cruel hands of time
Make everything disappear?
Did it take what was yours 
And show you what it really was.
Nothing is ever as it appears.
And a soul cries behind a smile.
Honesty is the biggest lie,
Love is just a game you won't win
No matter how hard you try.
Twist and turn in your skin
You'll never come out alive
Don't torture yourself, give up this life.
 

I haven't smiled for a while
Because you aren't by my side
I have no motivation 
And I lack deserved pride.
You haven't cried for a while
Because you're happy out there 
You have passion 
And someone's love and care.
Do you remember how you felt
Before that person was there
To hold you through the misery
To turn suffering into glory.
That's how I feel right now
I'm empty without your love
You're everything I ever wanted 
Everything I never had.
I can't love anyone else
The way I love you, 
Darling, I've tried
But those feelings aren't true
Those people aren't you.
So just for once can you try,
Seeing this through my eyes
Just for once realise 
That you're my love, my life.

i liked that one^

good job sonia

itslikelectiveamnesia wrote:i liked that one^

good job sonia

Thanks

She's found herself once again, pretending 
That the pain will soon be ending 
She's all alone once again, dreaming 
That she'll stop all the screaming 
Someone help her, someone save her
Please remind her, she's only dreaming
All she is a dreamer, a hopeless screamer 
She doesn't know what she wants
And she worships the ghost that haunts 
She tells you, quietly, that she's lost herself 
And you can help her come back
But, in honesty, she's kidding herself 
No one knew her anyway 
And she was never in a safe place
He doesn't care about her when she cries
Her face stained with tears, never dry
She'll stare at her walls with hope
That they'll help her cope
She's still looking up, hoping for something 
Poor girl doesn't know she's nothing 
Could  you help her face reality?

I have so much to say
So much I should've said before,
Like how I need you more
Every time  you aren't here.
I need to tell you I miss you
When you aren't by my side.
You're where I can hide
I can disappear into your heart
And we won't have to be apart.
I can look into your eyes
And every moment is a surprise
You're so unpredictable 
And that makes you beautiful
I wonder of you're even real.
Your the reason I'm still here
That I survived this year.
It's your smile 
That keeps me alive.
It's you I never want to see cry
I want to let my heart be honest
And for a change I want to love
Instead of letting fear come above.
I want to tell you that I love you
I'd do anything at all for you,
Now if only I could find the strength
To say these words to you.

Invaded illusions :

Have you ever felt this way
Like there was no one to save the day
Then suddenly someone came along
But the feeling was wrong 
They were just an illusion 
Created by your hearts horizon
A device you manifested 
To put your heart to rest
To have your emotions tested 
This lie made you feel alive
When you pictured them by your side
They wiped away your tears
And for once, your voice was heard
But once again, it wasn't there
It was a way of knowing care
It was an experiment 
Of pretending someone was there
And they'd fix your broken heart
But it's broken beyond repair 
How much would it hurt to stop dreaming 
The moment you stop dreaming, 
You start screaming 
You can't stand what's real
Your imagination is where you feel